Can it be tomorrow already? Getty Images


It's that time of year again.


Words cannot describe how excited the start of the English Premier League (EPL) gets me every year. After the slog of meaningless summer soccer for several months, the start of the EPL marks the beginning of the most exciting sports league in the world (and certainly the most popular league in the world).


I could write for the days about the start of the EPL but I will keep it short and accessible for this preview. I'll start out with a a few storylines for this season, followed by a few outlandish predictions, and lastly I will finish off with predictions for every team.



Jose Mourinho. Wikipedia Commons/soccer.ru (CC)


To put it lightly, the amount of world-class managers in the EPL season is absolutely astounding. Jose Mourinho returns to management in the north with Manchester United. Pep Guardiola finally decided to try his hand at the Premier League by joining rivals Manchester City. Many consider these two managers to be the best in the world, but it doesn't end there!


Antonio Conte joins Chelsea after well exceeding expectations for Italy and Juventus. Jurgen Klopp continues his revolution at Liverpool. Claudio Ranieri returns after leading minnows Leicister City to Premier League champions. Mauricio Pochettino continues the rise of Tottenham. I guess you could even give Arsene Wenger at Arsenal a little credit too.


Almost all of these managers has dominated a top league in Europe at one point in another. And to make it even better, many of the small teams have great mangers as well.



Whether you enjoy unsustainable TV deals or not (and I'll probably explain what I mean by that in a post another time), one cannot deny how much money is in the English Premier League at the moment. From the record-breaking signing of Paul Pogba at Manchester United (a player they incidentally let go for free just a couple years earlier) to extravagant sums spent on so-so players such as Yannick Bolaise to small clubs in England having more to spend than some of the champions of other leagues, the level of money in the EPL is unprecendted.



I'm not going to spend much time on this but I'll give it a quick shoutout. If last season was anything to go by, this season is going to be absolutely crazy. Prepare for the unexpected and many open games.




Harry Kane. Wikipedia Commons/enviro warrior (CC)



Going to go with the easy choice here, Harry Kane with 24 (Aguero is the other easy choice in my book - it's hard to go wrong with either of them). While Kane still has a little work left to be more clinical in front of goal, he is second to none at creating goal-scoring chances. One of my favorite players, despite the fact he plays for Tottenham.

N'golo Kante. Wikipedia Commons/soccer.ru (CC)



I'm certainly biased on this one but I really feel like Chelsea snatched a bargain with N'golo Kante from Leicister City. Easily, my player of the season, we snatched an absolute bargain with Kante because of his low buyout clause. And for the 30-ish million pounds you could get Kante, or you could get...

Yannick Bolaise.Wikipedia Commons/Yannick34 (CC)



...Yannick Bolaise. It's hard to understand why Everton paid such a big price so sign such an average player when there are so many other better players, also available.

Mike Phelan. Wikipedia Commons/Dom Fellowes (CC)



Maybe I just want pay back for Hull City knocking out Derby County from the Championship playoffs. Maybe I just don't think Hull City is very good and will be struggling when the sackings start to hit. Either way Phelan has even gone on record this summer saying that Hull City is probably not Premier League quality.

1037.


Give or take a few. But I think it will be a good season for goals.




After a strong finish in second place last year, Arsenal hopes to make a serious challenge at the title this season during the last year of Arsene Wegner's current contract. Arsenal adds one of my favorite players in midfield, Swiss international Granit Xhaka, a desperately needed addition in my opinion. But I think Arsenal fans should expect to be disappointed this season, for I think this is the year that Arsenal fails to make the Champions League.


Key transfers: Granit Xhaka (in), Mikel Arteta (out)

Bournemouth managed to survive their first season in the English Premier League by a narrow 5 points, impressive considering their scraping ascent into the EPL in the first place. Bournemouth made themselves known last season with their attacking style of play and are trying continue that this season with signings such as Jordan Ibe. They are also trying to shore up their defense with Chelsea loan signing Nathan Ake (and with our defensive deficiencies, I still can't wrap my head around letting him go...). But for a team with a stadium size of only 11,469 I believe Bournemouth's season will end in a more appropriate sized league: The Championship


Key transfers: Jordan Ibe (in), Nathan Ake (in - loan), Matt Ritchie (out)

Winners of the Championship in convincing style, Burnley come back to the Premier League in style, hoping to stay around the EPL a little bit longer this time around. However, Burnley have yet to really invest in their squad since coming back to the EPL, a bold and confident move, but one that rarely turns out well for newly promoted clubs. Johann Berg Gudmundsson joins after a strong Euro campaign with Iceland, but he is hardly a winger that will strike any fear into opposing defenses. I predict a tough relegation battle for Burnley.


Key transfers: Johann Berg Gudmundsson (in), Joey Barton (out)

Only two years ago, Chelsea won the Premier League in dominating fashion but after last season, that fact is all but forgotten. Chelsea suffered their worst season in two decades last year and weren't even close to qualifying for Europe. New manager Antonio Conte comes to Chelsea after successful stints as manager of Italy and Juventus and will only have English competitions to manage his first season. My EPL player of the season, N'golo Kante, comes into our midfield from Leicester City, ready to run down every player on the pitch. Michy Batshuayi also joins our strike-force, a much needed move.


Key transfers: N'golo Kante (in), Michy Batshuayi (in), Juan Cuadrado (return from loan), all of the loans (out), Jose Mourinho :( (out)


Click here for my full Chelsea season preview!


After a very strong start to last season where they were just on the fringes of a Champions League spot, Crystal Palace struggled heavily during the last half of the season and went months without winning a game before finishing only a few spots above relegation. While managing to get a king's ransom for Yannick Bolaise, Crystal Palace will need to strengthen in a few areas before the end of the transfer window to have a successful season in their books. After having a pretty terrible season in attack, Crystal Palace cleaned out their strike core and will certainly need to add one before the end of the transfer window.


Key transfers: Steve Mandanda (in), Andros Townsend (in), Emmanuel Adebayor, Marouane Chamakh, Dwight Gayle (sum total, not individually - out)

There's a interesting air at Goodison Park this year. Everton is in a bit of a transitional period at the start of this season with a new billionaire owner and a new manager, Ronald Koeman. After a few seasons of underwhelming performances under their old manager, Roberto Martinez, Koeman brings renewed optimism to Everton after a few highly successful seasons with Southhampton. While Koeman's move left me scratching me head a little, Everton are much more prepared to have a successful season in the EPL this year. After selling one of the most sought of youngsters in John Stones to Manchester City, Everton would hope to have to 50 million pounds more to spend before the end of the transfer window.


Key transfers: Maarten Stekelenberg (in), Ashley Williams (in), Idrissa Gueye (in), John Stones (out), Tim Howard (out)

Hull City managed to barely squeeze themselves back up to their Premier League during the Championship Playoffs last year but hardly looked convincing in the process. Multiple teams such as Derby County and Brighton and Hove Albion looked to be more deserving but at the end of the day, it is Hull City that ended up in the EPL (and the windfall of money that comes with it). But... that being said, Hull city look woefully under-prepared for the rigors of top flight football. Hull City hardly looked prepared to challenge for the top of the Championship and without any real investment this past off-season, it looks like the Tigers will be going right back to the Championship for the next season.


Key transfers: None (in), Mohamed Diame (out)

The books that will be written and the movies that will be recorded in the future, will never quite be able to capture the insanity that unfolded last year when Leicester City shocked the world and won the English Premier League at 5000 to 1 odds. While the odds clearly undervalued the Foxes' chances, it's still hard 3 months later even, to put into words how incredible of an achievement this was (easily, the best sports story I've come across in my lifetime). But with increased success come with increased expectations, and Leicester won't have it as easy this year. After an off-year from all of the usual top clubs in England, the Manchester's and Chelsea appear to be back in full force this year. Losing N'golo Kante will be absolutely devastating for the Foxes but gaining Ahmed Musa will prove to be very valuable as the season progresses.


Key transfers: Ahmed Musa (in), N'golo Kante (out), Andrej Kramaric (out)

After having most of last season to sculpt the remains of Brendan Rogers' Liverpool side, Jürgen Klopp will now have his first full season to fine-tune the side into his own. Klopp has shown he can lead a team to European success in the past with Borussia Dortmund in Germany. But he failed to bring any significant success to Liverpool last year and expectations will certainly be higher in his second year. With a few high-profile signings, get ready for an exciting season to watch for Liverpool with the ever-present Klopp roaming the sidelines.


Key transfers: Sadio Mané (in), Joel Matip (in), Loris Kairus (in), Martin Skrtel (out), Jordan Ibe (out), Joe Allen(out)

Manchester City is coming off not a great season by recent standards but with rivals Manchester United and Chelsea struggling even more, City still managed to squeak out a Champions League spot at the very end of the season. Very successful manager Pep Guardiola joins with high expectations but it won't be easy for him to sculpt the current City side into his usual mold. Guardiola will have a few high-profile to help him out though and he will have few excuses if City do not finish near the top of the table.


Key transfers: John Stones (in), IIkay Gundogan (in), Leroy Sane (in), Martin Demichelis (out)

For many years, Manchester United became accostomed to the exceptional manager they had in Sir Alex Ferguson. From the brilliant tactics, to unnatural player performances, to the so called 'Fergie Time', United became to believe they inherently deserved success. So it came as a pretty big slap in the face when United was subsequently rewarded with David Moyes and Louis van Gaal in the subsequent aftermath of Ferguson. A couple of dreadful seasons later, United looks ready to return to their winning ways by appointing legendary manager José Mourinho. It's very painful for me to watch Mourinho aid the men in Red but I suppose we were asking for when we sacked him a second time. United will also have a couple of high profile signings to aid them this season with Paul Pogba and Zlatan Ibrahimović, so look to see United make a serious push at the title.


Key transfers: Paul Pogba (in), Zlatan Ibrahimović (in), Henrikh Mkhitaryan (in), Victor Valdés (out)

After an impressive season in the Championship, Boro looks to be the most ready of the Championship entries to be successful in the Premier League. Already boasting an impressive set of individuals, Middlesbrough have invested in a significant set of additions that should extend their stay in the English Premier League. After many seasons away from the EPL, I am personally quite happy to see Boro back in the big times (they were one of the teams I would secretly cheer for when I got into soccer).


Key transfers: Álvaro Negredo (in), Gastón Ramírez (in), Marten de Roon (in), Victor Valdés (in), None (out)

After a highly successful season which saw Southampton rise to 6th in the league standings, the Saints should unfortunately expect a pretty significant drop off after seeing some of their manager and some of their stars poached. A bit unfortunate to watch in my books, as it was great to watch Southampton quickly rush up the EPL table over the past few seasons after a few seasons away from it. I think Southhampton will struggle with significant losses this past off-season but I think that their new additions will be able to lessen the blow.


Key transfers: Nathan Redmond (in), Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg (in), Victor Wanyama (out), Graziano Pelle (out), Gaston Ramirez (out)

With every passing season, the phrase, "a cold, rainy night at Stoke" becomes a bit more bearable. What was once the most unbearable places to play, is now one of the most entertaining places to play (under the reign of Mark Hughes). With former Champions League winners, Xherdan Shaqiri, Bojan and Marko Arnautovic, Stoke play some genuinely attractively football. I honestly think Stoke could make a serious summit in the standings one of these seasons, especially with players such as Shaqiri. I may be partial to Shaqiri because I'm Swiss, but the guy has a serious aversion to scoring some of the most attractive goals known to man.


Key transfers: Joe Allen (in), Peter Odemwingie (out), Steve Sidwell (out)

After barely managing to stay in the EPL during the 2015-16, Sunderland certainly have their work cut out for them in the upcoming season. While Djilobadji might be an underrated addition in defense, I really struggle how to see how Sunderland will manage to stay afloat in the EPL with all their personnel changes, and David Moyes as manager.


Key transfers: Papy Djilobodji (in), Emanuele Giaccherini (out), Yann M'Vila (out), DeAndre Yedlin (out)

After a few seasons of bursting onto the scene, and a few healthy seasons in the EPL, Swansea City was confronted with a very realistic possibility of returning to the Championship during the 2015-16 season. A sacking and an addition in attack later, Swansea hope to vanquish some of their demons in attack, but the Welsh-men should certain expect to encounter one of their most challenging seasons in recent memory.


Key transfers: Fernando Llorente (in), Leroy Fer (in), Andre Ayew (out), Ashley Williams (out), Bafatimbi Gomis (out)

While Totttenham had one of their best finishes ever in the EPL last season, Spurs can't help but feel a little disappointed after going most of the season in contention for the title, only to finish on the outside looking in. Tottenham returns mostly the same exact core that sprung the Spurs to title contention last year, with players such as Harry Kane, Dele Alli, and Christian Eriksen. Look for the Spurs to mount a very serious title challenge this year as Tottenham has only improved since last year.


Key transfers: Victor Wanyama (in), Vincent Janssen (in), None (out)

Watford managed to initially take the Premier League by storm last season before ultimately settling for a more respectable place in the standings. While Watford certainly has some star players that will be able to bring results in week in and week out, Watford still has awhile to go before they make it securely into Premier League safety.


Key transfers: Isaac Success (in), Christian Kabasele (in), Almen Abdi (out)

One of the most polarizing managers in the Premier League, Tony Pulis certainly manages to get results that keeps his sides in the EPL, but it certainly comes at a cost. WBA is one of the least attractive sides to watch in England, so my opinion is clear: stay clear of WBA games for the moment unless you want to waste a couple hours of your life.


Key transfers: None (in), Stéphane Sessègnon (out)

More commonly known as the team that Dean Thomas supports in Harry Potter, West Ham United looks ready to build upon their success of last year and make moves into Europe with this season. West Ham managed to vastly outperform this expectations last year and with an increased budget, they hope to come close to their performance last year. But it will not be easy and West Ham will have to rely on players such as Dmitri Payet to replicate past success.


Key transfers: Andre Ayew (in), Sofiane Feghouli (in), Gökhan Töre (in), Alex Song (out), James Tomkins (out)


My predictions for the end-of-season standings of the English Premier League. Almost certain to be wrong, but all part of the fun!


Place Team
1 Manchester City
2 Manchester United
3 Chelsea
4 Tottenham
5 Leicester City
6 Arsenal
7 Liverpool
8 West Ham
9 Everton
10 Stoke City
11 Swansea City
12 Middlesbrough
13 Southampton
14 Watford
15 Crystal Palace
16 Burnley
17 West Bromwich Albion
18 Bournemouth
19 Sunderland
20 Hull City

Hope you enjoyed my predictions!






Ukulele strummer, milk enthusiast, and sushi connoisseur. Was the leading scorer on my amateur soccer team last season. I'm also a true nerd at heart and an aspiring rocket scientist.

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